A. Del Gigante

So I was reading SkyMall on my way home for the holidays, and here are some interesting (and obviously crucial-to-survival) things I found.

The Animatronic Singing and Talking Elvis (199.95)

16’ Duster Pole ($149) P.S. Apparently people who have 16’ ceilings clean their own homes.

2nd or 3rd Story Fire Escape Ladder ($89.99) Paranoid and perpetually terrified does not even being to describe you if you purchase this. Also, make sure you buy the right one…

Sport-Elec Toning System ($120)

Dog Dazer Deluxe ($69.95) Supposed to defend you from dogs… by playing an outrageously high pitched sound that only they can hear in an attempt to make them think they’re hearing things/ losing their minds. Thats just cruel.
 

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star ($69.95) Torture chamber as a form of discipline. 
 

“Bigfoot, the Garden Yeti” Sculpture ($98.95)